Four Reasons Why Muslims Should Not Celebrate the New Year

To a Muslim living in the West, the Christmas Holiday period is one of the most stressful times because of the differences in our attitudes towards holidays and celebrations of the status quo. Even in Islamic countries, there can be misunderstandings on these issues with our Christian colleagues. The following essay is my personal attempt at bridging this gap to promote an understanding of the Islamic perspective regarding this topic. 

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The word Christmas comes from the Old English term Cristes maesse, meaning "Christ's mass." This was the name for the festival service of worship held on December 25th to commemorate the birth of Jesus . There is neither certain information on the date of his birth, nor even on the year. One reason for this uncertainty is that the stories of his birth, recorded in the New Testament books of Matthew and Luke, were written several decades after the event. Those who wrote it gave no specific dates for the events they mentioned.

For several centuries the Christian Church itself paid little attention to the celebration of Jesus' birth. It ranked after Easter, Pentecost, and Epiphany in liturgical importance. The major Christian festival was Easter; the day of Jesus' purported resurrection. Only gradually, as the church developed a calendar to commemorate the major events of the life of Jesus did the celebration of his birth become significant.

Because there was no knowledge about the date of his birth, a day had to be selected. The Eastern Orthodox and the Eastern Rite Churches within the Roman Catholic Church chose January 6th. The day was named Epiphany, meaning "appearance" (i.e. the day of Jesus' manifestation). The Western Church, based in Rome, chose December 25th. It is known from a notice in an ancient Roman almanac that Christmas was celebrated on December 25th in Rome as early as 336 AD.

In the latter half of the 4th century, the Eastern and Western Churches adopted each other's festival, thus establishing the modern Christian 12-day celebration from Christmas to Epiphany. In some places the 12th day is called the Festival of the Three Kings because it is believed that the three wise men, or magi, visited the baby Jesus on that day, bringing him gifts.

Today Christmas is more than a one-day celebration or a 12-day festival. It is part of a lengthy holiday season embracing at least the whole month of December. In the United States, the holiday season begins on Thanksgiving Day and ends on January 1st, New Year's Day, a period of about five weeks. Actually, it is also an essential part of the business cycle - definitely the month comprising an important retail period of the year. 

Gift giving is one of the oldest customs associated with Christmas: It is actually older than the holiday itself. When the date of Christmas was set to fall in December, it was done at least in part to compete with ancient pagan festivals that occurred about the same time. The Romans, for example, celebrated the Satumalia on December 17th. It was a winter feast of merry-making and gift exchanging. Two weeks later, on the Roman New Year - January 1- houses were decorated with greenery and lights, and gifts were given to children and the poor. As the Germanic tribes of Europe accepted Christianity and began to celebrate Christmas, they also gave gifts.

Ancient, pre-Christian winter festivals used greenery, lights and fires to symbolize life and warmth in the midst of cold and darkness. The use of evergreens and wreaths as symbols of life was an ancient custom of the Egyptians, Chinese and Hebrews, among other groups. Tree worship was a common feature of religion among the Tectonic and Scandinavian people of northern Europe before their conversion to Christianity. They decorated houses and barns with evergreens on New Year's Day to scare away demons, and they often set up trees for the birds in winter. For these northern Europeans, this winter celebration was the happiest time of the year because it signified that the shortest day of the year - somewhere around December 21st - had passed. They knew the days would get longer and brighter. The month during which this festival took place was named YOL, from which the word Yule is derived. In fact, Yule has come to mean Christmas in some countries.

Thus, many Christians do not realize that much of the celebration of Christmas is actually of pagan origin. The Romans celebrated the Feast of the Invincible Sun on December 25th. The early church fathers elected to celebrate the birth of Jesus  on this date, although there was no particular reason to choose this one. In fact, many Christian scholars contend that Jesus was actually born in summer. This is consistent with the Quranic account that follows, because there is a specific mention of ripe dates falling to Mary (may Allah be pleased with Her) in the Quran (which means): "And shake towards you the trunk of the palm-tree; It will drop upon you fresh ripe dates." [Quran 19: 25]

A common theme to many Christian holidays is their actual pagan origin. It seems that the early church elders elected to keep many of the celebrations already in practice and redefine them in Christian terms, rationalizing them as a celebration of some aspect of their dogma of the life of Jesus . Nowadays, few may remember the reasons for the various customs that they practice.

The fundamental issue for Muslims everywhere is whether or not to celebrate Christmas. Their Christian colleagues may stress the secular aspects of the holiday and need to comply with social customs in order to advance in the society. Many times I have been told to forget Christmas as a religious holiday and just consider it as a social occasion - especially in the United States. In many businesses in the US, it is customary to have a big party for all employees at this time. Failure to participate makes oneself an object of ostracism. One needs to climb the social ladder to optimize one's chances for promotion, etc., and it is difficult to resist the pressure to conform!

Unfortunately, many Westerners feel that we Muslims should celebrate Christmas. They cite the examples of many other non-Christians doing so, including many Jews, Hindus, etc. who join the merrymaking. They find it frustrating that many Muslims will not comply and yield to the social pressure. It is regretful that they do not apply the same standard to themselves. They don't expect us to pressure them to celebrate our holidays nor do we, Muslims, put such pressure on them. After all, we must follow the Quranic verse 2:256 (which means): "There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion…" Yet, some feel that it is their duty to try to force their celebrations on us. In fact, I recently heard from some who consider it an insult that we do not celebrate. For this reason, I ask them: "Did Jesus  or any of the other prophets celebrate their birthdays?" Then, what authority do they base this on?

By: Dr. Zeyd Ali Merenkov, M.D.

Is it allow to say Merry Christmas in ISLAM? Dr Zakir Naik (Urdu)

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Is it allow to say Merry Christmas in ISLAM? Dr Zakir Naik (English))

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Ruling on the Muslims celebrating at the time of Christmas and decorating their homes with balloons

What do you say to Muslims in the United Kingdom who celebrate at Christmas time by holding dinner parties in their houses on Christmas or afterwards, for their Muslim families, such as preparing roast turkey and the other dishes of the traditional Christmas dinner, and they adorn their houses with balloons and paper chains, and they do the “secret Santa” tradition, whereby each relative brings a gift for one of the people present and these gifts are brought to the party to be given to the one for whom he bought it, without the recipient knowing who he is. [“Secret Santa” is a new, growing custom among non-Muslims who celebrate Christmas, and is in accordance with their belief in the myth of Santa Claus]. 

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Is this action regarded as halaal or haraam, if no one is attending this party except Muslims (relatives and family members)?.
Praise be to Allaah.

There is no doubt that what is mentioned of celebrations is haraam, because it is an imitation of the kuffaar. It is well known that the Muslims do not have any festival apart from Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, and the weekly “Eid” which is Friday (Yawm al-Jumu‘ah). Celebrating any other festival is not allowed and is either of two things: either it is an innovation (bid‘ah), if it is celebrated as a means of drawing close to Allah, such as celebrating the Prophet’s Birthday (Mawlid); or it is an imitation of the kuffaar, if it is celebrated as a tradition and not as an act of worship, because introducing innovated festivals is the action of the people of the Book who we are commanded to differ from. So how about if it is a celebration of one of their actual festivals? 

Decorating the house with balloons at this time is obviously joining in with the kuffaar and celebrating their festival.
What the Muslim is required to do is not to single out these days for any kind of celebration, decorating or adornment, or special foods, otherwise he will be joining the kuffaar in their festivals, which is something that is undoubtedly haraam.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Similarly it is forbidden for the Muslims to imitate the kuffaar by holding parties on these occasions, or exchanging gifts, or distributing sweets or other foods, or taking time off work and so on, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtida’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem Mukhaalifat Ashaab al-Jaheem: Imitating them on some of their festivals implies that one is happy with the falsehood they are following, and that could make them (the non-Muslims) take this opportunity to mislead those who are weak in faith. End quote.
Those who do any of these things are sinning, whether they do it to go along with them, or to be friendly towards them, or because they feel too shy (to refuse to join in) or any other reason, because it is a kind of compromising the religion of Allah to please others, and it is a means of lifting the spirits of the kuffaar and making them proud of their religion,
End quote from Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 3/44
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a Muslim who makes the food of the Christians on Nawrooz (Persian New Year) and on all their occasions such as Epiphany and other feast days, and who sells them things to help them celebrate their festivals. Is it permissible for the Muslims to do any of these things or not?
He replied: Praise be to Allah. It is not permissible for the Muslims to imitate them in any way that is unique to their festivals, whether it be food, clothes, bathing, lighting fires or refraining from usual work or worship, and so on. And it is not permissible to give a feast or to exchange gifts or to sell things that help them to celebrate their festivals, or to let children and others play the games that are played on their festivals, or to adorn oneself or put up decorations. In general, (Muslims) are not allowed to single out the festivals of the kuffaar for any of these rituals or customs. Rather the day of their festivals is just an ordinary day for the Muslims, and they should not single it out for any activity that is part of what the kuffaar do on these days.

Can a Muslim say happy Christmas to his friends? with 5 conflicting questions

Such questions are at the heart of a debate between the forces of Islamic intolerance and a group of scholars touring Britain with a message of moderation
Suheil Azam was sitting in a coffee shop in east London last month when one his friends began a debate on whether it was permissible under Islamic scripture for Muslims to wish their non-Muslim friends happy Christmas. As a 23-year-old professional who socialises widely, Mr Azam had never considered the possibility that someone in his community might frown upon him for going round to his neighbours at Christmas or partying during New Year. But his friend, who had become increasingly devout, was adamant that such behaviour was haram (forbidden).

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"Personally I think he's wrong," explained Mr Azam. "But it's difficult to argue against him because all the information he gets is taken from the internet and it makes him sound very knowledgeable."
Such a debate between two young British Muslims would have been almost unthinkable two decades ago. But today it is frequently the internet that young Muslims turn to when looking for spiritual advice. And what they find in cyberspace is often shockingly intolerant. "Do not congratulate [the unbeliever] on their festivals in any way whatsoever," warns one prominent site. "That implies approval of their festival and not denouncing them."
While the real world provides a vast array of interpretations from a variety of Islamic schools, more often than not it is the intolerant strands of Islam taught by Saudi Arabia's fundamentalist Wahabi scholars that dominate online. Backed by billions of petrodollars and an army of tech-savvy graduates who are more than capable of capturing the YouTube generation's imagination, the internet has long been a stronghold for the most intolerant forms of Islam. For those who wish to see the West's Muslim communities continue to integrate with their neighbours, the prevalence of such isolationist rhetoric is of great concern. Armed with quotes from Saudi scholars living thousands of miles away, a small number of angry young British Muslims are forgoing the inclusive Islam their parents were once taught in favour of an interpretation that encourages them to cut themselves off from mainstream society and view all non-Muslims with contempt.
But now, as the Hajj gets under way in Mecca, one of the world's oldest Islamic institutions has come to Britain to remind young Muslims who might be tempted by the Wahabi rhetoric that there is an alternative way to worship. Scholars from Al-Azhar in Cairo have been touring Britain's mosques to launch a new online book of fatwas (Islamic judgements) which directly challenge the Saudi way of thinking.
The second oldest university in the world, after China's Nanking University, Al-Azhar was generally seen as the foremost centre of learning in the Sunni world until Saudi Arabia began exporting its millenarian version of Islam en masse from the late 1970s. Critics have since accused Al-Azhar of being too close to the widely disliked Egyptian government, but it remains one of the few international schools of Islamic jurisprudence with enough historical clout to challenge Saudi Arabia's supremacy.
The 200-page book, entitled The Response, has been available in the Middle East in Arabic for two years but this is the first time a comprehensive list of some of the most commonly asked questions encountered by Al-Azhar's scholars has been available in English, and equally importantly, Urdu, the national language of Pakistan. The issues answered in the book range from whether the Earth revolves around the Sun (Sheikh Ibn Baaz, Saudi Arabia's Grand Mufti during the 1990s, insisted that the Sun revolved around the Earth) to whether a Muslim is allowed to perform magic tricks (Wahabis forbid it).
After each question, the book's authors quote a fundamentalist fatwa and then offer their own, centrist alternative. In reply to whether Muslims can greet non-believers during their festivals, for instance, Al-Azhar's scholars write: "There is no harm in congratulating non-Muslims with whom you have a family relationship, or that are neighbours of yours." They then give examples from the Prophet Mohamed's life that showed his tolerance toward other religions.
Sheikh Abdel Fattah El Bezm, the Grand Mufti of Damascus, was one of two Al-Azhar trained scholars to tour the UK this week, visiting mosques in Birmingham and Manchester. An elderly cleric with a trimmed grey beard and warm eyes, the Islam he grew up with and went on to study was mainly concerned with creating a just world marked by kindness and lenience.
In an interview with The Independent, he was keen to avoid blaming the Saudis directly, but it was clear that Al-Azhar's scholars want to confront the hardliners' rhetoric. "This is not an argument between two countries, between Saudi Arabia or Al-Azhar," he said. "But we do want to show that there are many different schools of thought. A few decades ago people began to abuse Islam and abuse Muslims. They took Islam out of context; they used it for their own personal gain and it has come back to haunt us. We are now paying the price for that." Richard Gauvain, a British-born academic and a specialist in Islam who has taught at the American University of Cairo for the past seven years, translated The Response into English and says it is time moderate scholars caught up with the online mullahs. "To be honest this book should have been written 30 years ago," he said. "Its value lies in re-establishing Al-Azhar as the leading voice. It reaches out to the average guy on the street and reminds them that nuance and ambiguity have always been very much part of the Islamic tradition."
But will British Muslims listen to what Al-Azhar has to say? Earlier this year Al-Azhar launched an English language version of its famous Islamic Hotline. Commonly referred to as "Dial-a-Sheikh" in Egypt, the hotline was launched in 2000 and allowed ordinary Muslims from across the Middle East to phone Al-Azhar's scholars for Islamic advice. It has since received over two million calls from around the world but has had trouble gaining a foothold in the UK. Chérif Abdel Meguid, the phone line's rotund and bespectacled founder, was surprisingly candid about the limited success of the hotline in Britain: "Very few of our callers come from the UK at the moment," he admitted. "We launched it in April but we haven't followed it up with enough advertising yet. This week we've taken adverts out in some of the Urdu language British press so we hope to get more callers." Inayat Bunglawala, the Muslim Council of Britain's influential media secretary who recently founded his own group, Muslims4UK, believes the Egyptian institution's reputation has suffered. "Educated Muslims look at Al-Azhar with respect because of its history as a beacon of learning but they are also very much aware that its reputation has dwindled in recent decades," he said. "Many now regard it as little more than an extension of the Egyptian government whose sheikhs are called upon to make pronouncements that are favourable to the Egyptian regime. "
But Muhammad Ali Musawi from the Quilliam Foundation, which was set up by former extremists who have abandoned their hardline rhetoric, believes even extremists will take note of Al-Azhar fatwas. "I think this is something that we should welcome," he said. "[Al-Azhar] is still a respected institution and people will listen to what it has to say.
"The big problem, as ever, is resources. The sort of money Al-Azhar has backing it cannot even begin to compare with what Saudi Arabia puts in to funding its Wahabi clerics. Unfortunately, young British Muslims rarely come across a scholar from Al-Azhar. But barely a week goes by without a Saudi institution sending over one of their clerics to preach in our universities or mosques."
Conflicting fatwas: Cairo vs Saudi Arabia
Q. Should a husband or wife stay in a marriage if their partner no longer prays?
* Fatwa from Sheikh Ibn al-Uthaymin (a prominent 20th-century Saudi scholar) By abandoning his or her prayers, a person leaves Islam. It is forbidden, therefore, for a Muslim to remain with a husband or a wife who no longer prays.
* Al-Azhar's fatwa With a single stroke of the pen, this fatwa declares a vast number of Muslims to be unbelievers. In fact, it means that millions of people are now no longer Muslims. We do not know why the authors are so keen to exclude crowds of Muslims from God's religion.
Q. Is free thought and faith a positive attribute?
* Sheikh Ibn al-Uthaymin Whoever argues that a person is entitled to complete freedom of faith is an unbeliever, guilty of the major sin of disbelief.
* Al-Azhar Allowing people freedom of faith does not mean that we consent to people forsaking their religion. However, we are dismayed by insistence on charging Muslims with acts of apostasy for the smallest of reasons.
Q. Is it wrong to say the Earth moves around the Sun?
* Sheikh Ibn Baaz (Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia 1993-99) "The person who maintains that the Sun does not move should be condemned to death after being called upon to repent, as his denials of the motion of the Sun constitute a denial of God's Word.
* Al-Azhar Matters which are not explicitly indicated in texts revealed by God should be referred to experts in these fields, such as astronomers. Such fatwas as this one sadly distorts the image of Islam worldwide.
Q. Is it allowed for a Muslim to live in a non-Muslim country?
* Sheikh Ibn Baaz It is illegal to live in such countries for work, trade or even for study, except when engaged in proselytising in the name of Islam.
* Al-Azhar It is a Muslim's duty, whether living within Muslim or non-Muslim communities, to benefit other members of those communities through teaching religion, calling for the good and opposing the bad.
Q. Are Muslims allowed to study secular law?
* The Permanent Committee for Islamic Research (Saudi Arabia's most senior school of Islamic jurisprudence) It is not permitted to teach secular law as a general course in higher education. This subject should be limited to specialists, who are able to show how secular law deviates from the truth [of Muslim law].
* Al-Azhar There is nothing wrong with studying secular law providing that one's study is guided by a legitimate interest, such as co-operating for the general good of society and fighting legal oppression.

What Does Christmas Mean to Muslims?

In the Muslim world, Christmas is not celebrated publicly, except in the minority Christian communities in the Middle East. And in North Africa not at all. To a Western Christian living there, the absence of the usual sights, sounds, and practices of Christmas, which are such a part of our culture, is most striking -- and can even be depressing. Go out into the streets and stores, but you will see no Christmas trees or decorations. Go into the homes on Christmas day, but you will not have a Christmas dinner or listen to the reading of the Christmas story, unless you are in the home of one of the few Christians. Turn on TV or radio, but you will find no Christmas programs and few if any signs that it is Christmas.

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There is no "Christmas Spirit" at all!
It is not that Muslims are ignorant of Christmas. Their understanding of it often leaves something to be desired, however. In North Africa, for example, it is commonly viewed as a "European" holiday. Based on what they have observed, to many it represents a big party, with feasting, drinking (and getting drunk), and similar behaviour -- very much like the pagan festival it started out to be back in ancient Rome. The Biblical message of the Incarnation, which Christians have proclaimed to be the real meaning of Christmas, does not seem to be getting through. The problem is not just with us who claim to be Christians, however.
Significantly, the story of the birth of Christ is actually related in the Qur'an, in Sura 19:16-35. Some of the facts are the same, but, what is most important, the story is given a very different slant. The virgin Mary is told by an angel that she will give birth to a "pure" son, "as a sign unto men and a mercy from Us." She withdraws to a desert place to give birth, alone, under a palm-tree, then returns with the infant to her people. When they chide her, supposing she has been unchaste, Jesus speaks up from the cradle in her defense, announcing himself to be a prophet. The passage concludes by denouncing the Christian doctrine of the Incarnation, misinterpreted in gross polytheistic terms: "Such is Jesus, son of Mary, the statement of truth about which they dispute. It is not befitting for God to father a Son, Glory be to Him! When He determines a matter, He only says to it 'Be' and it is."
Thus, although Muslims acknowledge Christ's miraculous birth of a virgin, they do not celebrate Christmas because the Qur'an misinterprets the Incarnation. The hope of salvation which the Incarnate Christ alone brings us is what they need, however. Perhaps this message would get through better if we as Christians would forgo the more superficial trappings of Christmas, innocent though they may seem, to make Christmas more an occasion to worship and praise God for this "inexpressible gift."

several Christian groups who are opposed to Christmas

Many Christians are unaware that the true spirit of reverence which Muslims display towards Jesus and his mother Mary spring from the fountainhead of their faith as prescribed in the Holy Quran. Most do not know that a Muslim does not take the name of Jesus , without saying Eesa alai-hiss-salaam i.e. (Jesus peace be upon him).
Many Christians do not know that in the Holy Quran Jesus is mentioned by name twenty-five times.  For example:
.. We gave Jesus the son of Mary Clear (Signs) and strengthened him with the holy spirit. .. Quran 2:87
Behold! the angels said: "O Mary! Allah gives thee glad tidings of a Word from Him: his name will be Christ Jesus, the son of Mary, held in honor in this world and the Hereafter and of (the company of) those nearest to Allah. Quran 3:45
.. Christ Jesus the son of Mary was (no more than) an apostle of Allah .. Quran 4:171
 And in their footsteps We sent Jesus the son of Mary, confirming the Law that had come before him .. Quran 5:46
And Zakariya and John, and Jesus and Elias: all in the ranks of the righteous: Quran 6:85

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The Quranic Titles of Jesus
Though Jesus is mentioned by name in twenty-five places in the Holy Quran he is also addressed with respect as: "Ibne Maryam” – son of Mary; as Masi (Heb) Messiah – translated as Christ; "Abd-ullah" servant of Allah; "Rasul -Ullah" – Messenger of Allah.
He is spoken of as “the word of God”, as “the spirit of God”, as a “Sign of God”, and numerous other epithets of honor spread over fifteen different chapters. The Holy Quran honors this great Messenger of God, and over the past fourteen hundred years Muslims continue to hold Jesus as a symbol of truth.
Christmas and 25th of December
Jesus is commonly considered to have been born on the 25th of December. However, it is common knowledge among Christian scholars that he was not born on this day. It is well known that the first Christian churches held their festival in May, April, or January. Scholars of the first two centuries AD even differ in which year he was born. Some believing that he was born fully twenty years before the current accepted date. So how was the 25th of December selected as the birthday of Jesus ?
Grolier’s encyclopedia says: “Christmas is the feast of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated on December 25 … Despite the beliefs about Christ that the birth stories expressed, the church did not observe a festival for the celebration of the event until the 4th century…. since 274, under the emperor Aurelian, Rome had celebrated the feast of the “Invincible Sun” on December 25. In the Eastern Church, January 6, a day also associated with the winter solstice, was initially preferred. In course of time, however, the West added the Eastern date as the Feast of the Epiphany, and the East added the Western date of Christmas”.
So who else celebrated the 25th of December as the birth day of their gods before it was agreed upon as the birth day of Jesus ? Well, there are the people of India who rejoice, decorate their houses with garlands, and give presents to their friends on this day. The people of China also celebrate this day and close their shops. Buddha is believed to have been born on this day. The great savior and god of the Persians, Mithras, is also believed to have been born on the 25th of December long before the coming of Jesus .
The Egyptians celebrated this day as the birth day of their great savior Horus, the Egyptian god of light and the son of the “virgin mother” and “queen of the heavens” Isis. Osiris, god of the dead and the underworld in Egypt, the son of “the holy virgin”, again was believed to have been born on the 25th of December.
The Greeks celebrated the 25th of December as the birthday of Hercules, the son of the supreme god of the Greeks, Zeus, through the mortal woman Alcmene Bacchus, the god of wine and revelry among the Romans (known among the Greeks as Dionysus) was also born on this day.
Adonis, revered as a “dying-and-rising god” among the Greeks, miraculously was also born on the 25th of December. His worshipers held him a yearly festival representing his death and resurrection, in midsummer. The ceremonies of his birthday are recorded to have taken place in the same cave in Bethlehem which is claimed to have been the birth place of Jesus .
The Scandinavians celebrated the 25th of December as the birthday of their god Freyr, the son of their supreme god of the heavens, Odin.
The Romans observed this day as the birthday of the god of the sun, Natalis Solis Invicti (“Birthday of Sol the invincible”). There was great rejoicing and all shops were closed. There was illumination and public games. Presents were exchanged, and the slaves were indulged in great liberties. These are the same Romans who would later preside over the council of Nicea (325 CE) which lead to the official Christian recognition of the “Trinity” as the “true” nature of God, and the “fact” that Jesus was born on the 25th of December too.
In Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Gibbon says: “The Roman Christians, ignorant of his (Christ’s) birth, fixed the solemn festival to the 25th of December, the Brumalia, or Winter Solstice, when the Pagans annually celebrated the birth of Sol ” vol. ii, p. 383.
Christians opposed to Christmas
There are several Christian groups who are opposed to Christmas. For example, they take the verse from the Bible in Jeremiah 10:2-4 as an admonition against decorating Christmas trees.
The King James Version reads: "Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen…. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not."
In order to understand this subject, it is helpful to trace some of the history of Christmas avoidance, particularly its roots in Puritanism.
The Puritans believed that the first-century church modeled a Christianity that modern Christians should copy. They attempted to base their faith and practice solely on the New Testament, and their position on Christmas reflected their commitment to practice a pure, scriptural form of Christianity. Puritans argued that God reserved to himself the determination of all proper forms of worship, and that he disapproved of any human innovations – even innovations that celebrated the great events of salvation. The name Christmas also alienated many Puritans. Christmas, after all, meant "the mass of Christ." The mass was despised as a Roman Catholic institution that undermined the Protestant concept of Christ, who offered himself once for all. The Puritans’ passionate avoidance of any practice that was associated with papal Rome caused them to overlook the fact that in many countries the name for the day had nothing to do with the Catholic mass, but focused instead on Jesus’ birth. The mass did not evolve into the form abhorred by Protestants until long after Christmas was widely observed. The two customs had separate, though interconnected, histories.
As ardent Protestants, Puritans identified the embracing of Christianity by the Roman Emperor Constantine in the early 300s CE as the starting point of the degeneration and corruption of the church. They believed the corruption of the church was brought on by the interweaving of the church with the pagan Roman state. To Puritans, Christmas was impure because it entered the Roman Church sometime in this period. No one knows the exact year or under what circumstances Roman Christians began to celebrate the birth of their Lord, but by the mid-300s CE, the practice was well established.
Islam requires Muslims to respect the faith of others
Regardless of historical facts and theological differences that Christians may have among themselves or theological differences Muslims may have with Christianity we cannot disregard the sentiments of practicing Christians who use this occasion to revere Jesus .
Prophet Muhammad was always very respectful towards the Christians. According to Islamic historians, Ibn e Saad and Ibn e Hisham, once there was a delegation of Byzantine Christians, who were traveling from Yemen to Madinah. The delegation was lead by a bishop by the name of Zqyd al-Usquf, who came to discuss a number of issues with Prophet Muhammad . When the time of their prayer came, they asked the Prophet if they could do their worship in the mosque of the Prophet. He answered, "Conduct your service here in the mosque. It is a place dedicated to God."
We should never ridicule the religious beliefs of others, no matter how much we disagree with them. God says in the Quran: "And insult not those whom they worship besides God, lest they insult God wrongfully without knowledge. Thus We have made fair-seeming to each people its own doings; then to their Lord is their return and He shall then inform them of all that they used to do".  Quran, 6:108

Christmas is a pagan festival – it has NOTHING to do with Christianity.

At the time of writing, we are in the ‘festive season’ according to Christians – Christmas time. And many Muslims around the world will be actually taking part in these festivities. They will do this without really questioning what they are doing, without even asking themselves if, as Muslims, they should be partaking in this.
The fact is that Muslims should not be taking part in Christmas or other festivals that are not based in Islam, that do not uphold the principles that we have been taught by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). But many Muslims do. A sad fact and one that undermines the establishing of Islam and a united Ummah.

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Why does it undermine things?
Firstly, we are Muslims and we distinguish ourselves as being Muslims and following Islam. There is no need to follow the tradition of another religion, especially if we have been Commanded by Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) not to. Allah Has Prescribed for us the festivities we should follow and there is no need to add to this by following something else. If celebrating Christmas was allowed, it would have been stated in hadith or the Qur’an. If doing this was ok, then would there be a need for Islam? Isn’t Islam enough for the Muslims?
“Whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers.” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]
Secondly, Christmas is a pagan festival – it has NOTHING to do with Christianity. It isn’t the birthday of Isa/Jesus (as) and many Christians know this. Christmas is depicted as being lots of snow, Christmas trees, Santa Claus, Reindeers, magical things – nothing to do with Christianity. It doesn’t snow in the Middle East, there’s no Christmas trees there, no such thing as Santa Claus, no such things as flying reindeers – absolutely nothing to do with Isa/Jesus (as). So what we are actually engaging in has no basis in any religion and as Muslims are supposed to be religious, then this is a bit hypocritical. Christmas has nothing to do with Allah or the Prophets, so as Muslims, it has nothing to do with us.
Even if Christmas WAS the birthday of Isa/Jesus (as), this is not something to be celebrated as, in Islam, Muslims are not supposed to celebrate birthdays. We do not celebrate the Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) birthday and this was not done by the Sahabas (Companions) either. Those Muslims who do celebrate birthdays need to check their beliefs and look into why Islam does not allow this.
Another point is that Christmas is a commercial affair these days. It’s all about selling presents, making money out of Christmas and this in itself is wrong. Many families are put under stress and the financial burden of trying to keep up with Christmas. People in the UK even start buying for Christmas months in advance to help with the finances. And if you cannot give presents, then how does this make you look? Any festivity that puts this kind of pressure and adversity on people is wrong. Even Eid is starting to go this way and Muslims need to wake up to this and not let festivities get out of hand.
Muslims are not Christians, pagans, jews, buddhists, hindus, sikhs, atheists or belonging to any other religion or way of life. Muslims are Muslims and follow Islam. By celebrating Christmas you are actually following something else. And this undermines the strength of the Ummah. This is one of the reasons why the Ummah is weak – we do not adhere to Islam and only Islam. There is nothing wrong with saying that you are a Muslim and so do not celebrate Christmas. Non-Muslims respect this but it seems that Muslims do not want to feel like they are upsetting others.
The following hadiths are examples of how Muslims should not imitate the actions of non-Muslims.
On the authority of Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Aas who said: “The Messenger of Allah saw me wearing two saffron garments and he said: ‘Indeed these are from the dress of the Kuffaar so do not wear them.’ [Collected by Muslim (1/144), An-Nisaaee (2/298), Al-Haakim (4/190), and Ahmad in his Musnad (2/172, 164, 193, 207, and 211)]
At-Tirmidhi narrated that Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه reported that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم said: “He is not one of us who imitates other than us. Do not imitate the Jews or the Christians.”
At-Tabarani and Abu Dawud narrated that Ibn Umar and Hudhayfah رضي الله عنه reported that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم said: “Whoever imitates a people, he is one of them.”
Al-Bayhaqi reported in his Sunan that Anas Bin Maalik رضي الله عنه said: “When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم came to Medina, the people had two holidays from the days of Jahiliyyah.”
He صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم said: “When I came to you, you had two days which you used to celebrate in Jahiliyyah. Allah سبحانه وتعالى has replaced them for you with better days, the days of slaughter (Adhaa) and the day of fitr.”
What does Christmas mean to most people? Well most people are not devout Christians and do not even believe Christmas to be connected to Isa/Jesus (as). For these people, Christmas is just a time to feel good, have parties, have a good time. And that’s about it. This is not what Muslims are about or should be about.
Muslims need to start standing up for Islam and stop acting like non-Muslims. We are not Christians and do not hold to those beliefs, unless they coincide with what is from Qur’an and Sunnah. We are not pagans, taking part in rituals that have no significance with Allah.
This is not about Muslims being segregated from society but more the opposite. This is about Muslims standing up and being identified as Muslims – not as though they have some confused fusion of identities. Islam is clear and Muslims need to be also. By being identified as Muslims, what Muslims stand for, what Islam stands for, you will gain respect from other Muslims, gain understanding and respect from non-Muslims and start to create societies where Muslims can be seen to have their place. This is about societies welcoming Muslims and Islam – it isn’t about eating into Islamic identity, which is what those Muslims are doing who are taking part in Christmas, Easter, Diwali, Hannukah and other non-Islamic festivals.
What should Muslims do?
Muslims need to stop engaging in Christmas festivities, parties, the giving of presents, sending cards, giving Christmas greetings. This is not Islamic so don’t have one foot in Islam and one foot in something else – that is a hypocritical stance to have. Instead, celebrate Islam – you have two Eids and can make the most of this. Be devout and upstanding Muslims that non-Muslims can respect for their Islamic values and morals and beliefs. If you don’t then what do you stand for?
Muslims need to come to terms with an Islamic identity and the fact that we are ordered by Allah not to imitate the kufaar – the non-Muslims. If anything, the non-Muslims have much to gain by imitating Muslims and learning from Muslims. We should be the role models, not the other way round. How will non-Muslims learn the errors of their ways, if we imitate them? Also, if we imitate the non-Muslims in the things they do, then where do you draw the line? Would you take part in Diwali which celebrates the many gods of the hindus? This would be committing shirk – the worst sin in Islam. The fairest and most just way is to not engage in festivities that are not Islamic.
Muslim parents need to explain to the schools that their children attend about Islamic values and why their children shouldnt take part in Christmas plays. This increases their understanding about Islam and helps future Muslims. Whenever I have explained things to non-Muslims, they have never looked at me in a bad way but respected me for my beliefs.
Explain to non-Muslims about Islamic values and how we celebrate on Eid. They are not aliens and will understand.
Muslims… you need to act like Muslims and BE Muslims, following Islam and showing everyone the beauty of Islam.

Why say no to chrismas in islam....? 10 REASONS

Merry Christmas to Muslims?

وَالَّتِي أَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا فَنَفَخْنَا فِيهَا مِنْ رُوحِنَا وَجَعَلْنَاهَا وَابْنَهَا آَيَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ

And (remember) her who guarded her chastity: We breathed into her of Our spirit, and We made her and her son a sign for all peoples. (Surah Al Anbiyaa 91)

Christmas is celebrated annually to remember the birth of Jesus Christ. The Quran confirms many aspects of that very special event. His mother was a virgin. The miraculous birth was announced by angels and has worldwide significance. It seems fitting, therefore, to wish Muslims a Merry Christmas too.

However, some Muslims forbid participating in Christmas celebrations mainly because they claim that Jesus is worshipped as one of three gods. The Bible clearly says that God is uniquely One and that He became a human being in Jesus (Deut 6:4-5, Zech 14:9, John 1). This is a central teaching held by all major groups in Christianity. One of the main reasons why it is believed to be true is simply because the Bible says so. It may seem easier to believe its message if such shocking statements were omitted. The fact that they always have been contained in God’s Word makes it very unlikely that it was changed. Surely evil people would take out the difficult parts and definitely not add ‘hard-to-believe’ things.   

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Most objections Muslims have against Christian teachings focus on how they could be true rather than the reasons why they were given. This is strange because believers readily accept that God is beyond our comprehension, having no beginning, no end and knowing everything. Therefore, it is more important to focus on explaining why God became a man in Jesus rather than how he managed to do so.

First reason for the Christmas season: The seriousness of sin

Our sins are much more serious then we think. Do you know how many of them Adam and Eve committed before God banished them from paradise? Just one! For one act of disobedience to have such disastrous consequences shows that sin is more than just a mistake. According to the Bible, to sin is rebelling against your Creator by wanting, thinking or doing what displeases Him.

The severe nature of sin also becomes apparent in the Islamic teaching of ‘Shirk,’ where the worship of others along with Allah will not be forgiven on the day of judgement. Among the various manifestations of ‘Major Shirk’ listed by Muslim scholars are: Rendering obedience to any authority against the order of Allah; showing love due to Allah alone, to others than him. ‘Minor Shirk’ is also of various kinds: Belief in omens, seeking of help from soothsayers and all other superstitions; belief in the powers of created things, like kissing holy stones, and praying at graves of a holy men; credit people like astrologers or interpreters of dreams with knowledge of the future; acts performed to show off; being inwardly dissatisfied with one’s inevitable condition ordained by Allah. ‘Major and Minor Shirk’ are very serious and easily committed but one is more obvious than the other.

We shall offer an illustration of how deplorable sin is from God’s perspective. Doing so is in line with the Bible and the Quran which use human terms like, ‘He sees’ to describe God. Contrary to us He knows perfectly what is going on. The difference of seeing is in degree not in kind. To say that words describing God have completely different meanings would make any talk about Him pointless. Here now is the illustration on the gravity of sin:

Imagine you own the shiny new car of your dreams. One morning you discover in horror that someone had scratched some marks on to its hood. You ask your children and it turns out that it was 2-year-old Amir! What are you going to do? There would be no way for you to explain to him the meaning of what he had done and what it was going to cost you in money, time and difficulty to get it fixed. Amir has no context for understanding any of that. Maybe it would be fair for him to pay the damage but totally out of reach. Should you stop the relationship or stay angry? No, the best thing would be to tell him not do it anymore, to reprimand him appropriately for his age. You would, of course, continue to love him as much as ever. The basis by which you could treat him with grace and mercy and not according to fairness is because you yourself would pay for the damage he caused.

Second reason for the Christmas season: The greatness of God’s love for us

Similarly as in our illustration, God who is holy and perfect sees our sin as something horrible, a debt we cannot pay. There is no point in asking us to because we have little idea what we have done from His perspective. To think that being good somehow makes us OK before God would be like Amir offering to sit angelically for two minutes on the ‘time-out chair’ after being told how much it would cost to repair the car. Such a nice offer would not pay you back your expenses or fix the car.

God loves us and therefore He wants to forgive our sins. However, His Justice demands our punishment which is eternal separation from Him. The cross is the place on which God has fulfilled both characteristics. Out of love for us He became a man in Jesus who died on our behalf in order to take the punishment we have deserved but were unable to pay. The shame caused by our rebellion against God was taken away through the blood of Jesus. God’s honour was restored through the perfect sacrifice alluded to in both the Bible and the Quran! (Numbers 19:1-10 compared with Surah Al Baqarah, 67-74)

It was God’s will to establish Justice by Himself! A place in heaven is guaranteed to those who change their minds and believe in Jesus as described in the Bible! He is the reason why God is ready to forgive us and why followers of Jesus in turn forgive those who sin against them. Out of thankfulness and in His strength they do good deeds to all, including their enemies. The changed behaviour of Jesus’ followers invites everyone to accept God’s way of dealing with injustice. Those who carry out their own justice by forceful means will ultimately be condemned on the day of Judgement. Peace is available here already to those who please God by accepting His will. No wonder angels declared to shepherds in the night the Saviour of the world was born:

“Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.”(Luke 2:14)

Love by definition is linked to freedom of choice. We can either accept or reject God’s incredible offer. It should not be discarded however, because we do not understand how it happened. Such reasoning is inconsistent with the teaching about God in general and with passages like Exodus 3:2-4 and Surah Ta Ha, 11-13. There it is recorded that Moses heard God speak to him from within the fire. If He has limited Himself inside a voice and a fire in the past He surely can embody Himself in a human being to bring us back into fellowship with Him! My dear Muslim friend, may God open the eyes of your heart and enable you to have a truly Merry Christmas!

No presents this year

By Martin Lewis

Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Across the country people are growling at the enforced obligation to waste money on tat they can't afford, for people who won't use it. Festive gift-giving has lost its point, risks doing more harm than good, mis-teaches our children about values and kills the joy of anticipation of what should be a joyous time.

Before you think this is just curmudgeonly bah-humbug, this rant isn't about presents under the spruce from parents or grandparents to children or spouses. It's about the ever-growing creep of gifts to extended family, colleagues, children's teachers and more.

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I first braved this subject on my website back in 2009, expecting a snowstorm of protest. Instead, many people joined my call to arms, relieved they were not alone in their distaste for the gifting ritual.

The next year, I polled 10,000 people on whether we should ban presents. Seven per cent said ditch all of them, 30 per cent said to all but children, and a further 46 per cent said limit it to the immediate family. Fewer than one in five supported giving beyond that.

With Christmas just five weeks away, there's still time to pull back and agree on No presents this year. Photo: CHRIS TERRY

Yet even with years of economic stagnation, each successive Christmas, Eid or Hanukkah, too few brave the peer pressure and shut up the giving shop. With Christmas just five weeks away, there's still time to pull back and agree on NO PRESENTS THIS YEAR.
Christmas is not a retail festival, mangers aren't sponsored by Argos (yet). Let me set out my stall.
We're disconnecting from why we give
The expectation of presents isn't culturally exclusive to the West. Anthropologists refer to it as ''ceremonial gift exchange''. Common are gifts upon marriage or coming-of-age ceremonies. This makes social and financial sense – I see it as a form of prudent social banking.
For example, when a young couple begin married life, others give cash or gifts to them as a start-up fund, providing a rapid net inflow of funds or goods.
As people age and often gain financial stability, they give gifts to newly-weds, effectively paying the system back. Over a lifespan it evens itself out, so it's an efficient method for society to focus cash on when and where it is needed.
Yet Christmas gift-giving outside the immediate family doesn't work that way. We simply swap presents, so there's no net movement of funds or goods.
Gift – giving creates an obligation on the recipient
By now, many rabid presentpushers may be spluttering over their wrapping paper, yelling "you're obsessed by materiality, what about the joy of giving?".
Of course, gifting can warm the cockles, but it can also, in some cases (shh, whisper it), be just a little selfish if you can't de- link giving from receiving.
Social convention says give a gift to someone, or their children, and you usually create an obligation on the recipient to buy back, whether they can afford it or not. If that obligation is something they will struggle to fulfil, you actually let them down.
Gift giving mis-prioritises people's finances
Christmas presents are a ''zero-sum'' game, as people usually swap gifts of similar value. Look at it as a simple equation:
David gives Nick a £40 blue tie for Christmas; Nick gives David a pair of £40 designer orange socks.
The net result ... Nick has spent £40 and got a blue tie; David has spent £40 and got orange socks.
Effectively, you pay to receive someone else's choice of object. Fine if people have wealth, but consider Janet and John. Financially, everything's bonzer for her, so she decides, generously, to buy gifts for all and sundry. In her cousin John's case, it's a pair of £25 funky cufflinks. Yet he's skint, in debt, and has three kids – but pride obliges him to buy her something of equal value.
Without the gift-giving obligation, would John have really chosen to prioritise spending £25 to receive cufflinks? Instead, perhaps he'd have replaced his children's shoes or repaid some debt. Worse still, maybe he borrowed more to buy Janet her gift.
In other words, giftswapping skewed John's priorities. He would've been better off if Janet hadn't bought him a present.
Don't fill landfills
Whether it's a naff knitted jumper from Aunty Beryl or a novelty naughty nurse outfit from your workmates, unused gifts are sent all the time to fulfil seasonal obligations. It's money spent on unneeded, unwanted and unused goods. That's bad for our finances, doesn't help the environment and just clogs up landfills.
Children aren't born retail snobs
Parents giving gifts to their children at Christmas is a joy. Yet it's still worth examining whether the size of your present pile has an unnecessary impact on your own and others' finances.
Young children often want what they want – whether it costs £2 or £200. Yet if their favourite Christmas toy is just a couple of quid, many parents feel guilty buying that alone. They search for something else to hit their own ''spending cash proves I love them'' meter – often even when in dire financial straits.
The lesson of the past few years is we must teach kids not to completely equate happiness with material acquisition. Sadly, while I've been campaigning to get compulsory financial education in schools for a few years now, many children still only get it through the ad breaks.
Some parents humorously boast that their children prefer the wrapping to the presents. A few years ago, for a pre- Christmas TV shoot, we had giant, empty wrapped boxes by a tree.
Two young children were there to play – I warned them the boxes were empty, but they didn't care, they were desperate to open them.
After giggling through the unwrapping, their joy boomed when they filled their time playing trains and castles with the empty boxes. Children don't judge gifts' quality by the price paid. So why do we judge our generosity to them by it?
Inflationary giving isn't good for the nation's children
School-age children are competitive, comparing gifts. The affluent who buy big gifts add pressure on others who, especially in these times, can't afford to compete.
This gift inflation can be horrid. With tales of birthday or bar mitzvah parties featuring appearances from international pop stars as parents compete to throw the best bash, even well-off parents can feel the pinch.
I remember sitting in a coffee shop, overhearing a 16-year-old persuading her aunt to intercede with her parents so that she could have a birthday limo trip around London, followed by dinner and an expensive nightclub.
When asked why, she named the other girls who had done it, and said she'd look "stupid" if she didn't follow.
Final thought
Some will say my view is unromantic, and others more bluntly call me Scrooge. However, this isn't about stopping festive fun, it's a challenge to pressured, blithe and habitual gift-giving.
When buying's a chore, a thing to tick off a list, does that really help our pockets or our souls? Spending your time making tokens others appreciate, or even just being more considerate, is more in keeping with the spirit of winter festivals. Perhaps the real gift is to release someone from the obligation of buying you a present.

No Christmas for me

Judy Keen
USA Today
Fri, 23 Dec 2011 00:00 UTC

Susan Lee, a divorced mother of three in New York City, is taking a drastic step this year. "No Christmas for me," she says. "No gifts, no turkey, no tree, no kidding."

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 image source:© Denny Simmons/USA Today

Griffin Holland, with mom Sarah Stewart Holland, 

plays in his family's Paducah, Ky., home on Dec. 14. 

The family has scaled back on Christmas spending, 

and Griffin will get gifts stashed after his birthday celebration.

Lee, 41, a marketing consultant, says she needs a break from the stress and spending that are integral parts of the holiday. Her kids will celebrate a traditional Christmas with their dad, but she's ignoring all the rituals.

"I start dreading Christmas from the time the decorations go up in the stores," she says. "It stopped being fun for me, so I'll find out this year if I can do without it altogether. I think it will be a relief. It already is."

The holiday is in no danger of extinction. Retail sales broke records over the Thanksgiving weekend, and online sales are up 15% from 2010, according to ComScore, a research company. A Gallup Poll found that Americans expect to spend an average of $764 on Christmas gifts, $50 more than a year ago. And forecasters expect spending on Christmas to rise 3.1% to $3.4 billion this holiday season.

Still, says Leah Ingram, who runs the Suddenly Frugal blog at suddenlyfrugal.com, many people are scaling way back this year, if not opting out of Christmas completely. Homemade presents and shared experiences are replacing expensive store-bought gifts among people who are feeling the pinch financially and those who object to the season's rampant consumerism.

"Everybody has too much stuff, and maybe that's where it's coming from," Ingram says.

Some people simply loathe the holiday. A Facebook search for "I hate Christmas" turns up dozens of results, including pages and posts from people who say they despise almost everything about Christmas: music, shopping, family gatherings, trees and lights.

Others have no choice but to downsize Christmas. Kate Pearson, 33, a single mom in Atlanta, lost her secretarial job in January and has told her two children that they're starting new traditions this year.

They drew a festive, 6-foot tree on craft paper and taped it to a wall. "Instead of gifts, which I can't afford, we're writing letters to each other that we will open on Christmas morning," she says. "We're going to tell each other what we love about our family. And that's it."

Pearson says she's looking forward to a bare-bones Christmas. "I cringe when I think of all the money I've spent in previous years on Christmas plates, napkins, candy, decorations and junk," she says. "Never again, even after I find a new job."

Watching their spending

Sarah Stewart Holland loves Christmas, but there's a lot less of it in her life this year.

She and her husband, Nicholas Holland, decided that real Christmas trees are too expensive, so they borrowed an artificial one from her parents.

They're not buying gifts for their son Griffin, 2, or his brother Amos, 6 months. They stashed some of the presents Griffin received for his birthday and will wrap and put them under the tree.

They'll e-mail holiday cards instead of buying and mailing traditional cards.

They won't exchange presents with each other or family members. Instead of their usual holiday open house, they'll have a potluck dinner with their closest friends.

"We're trying to be conscious about our spending," says Stewart Holland, 30, who lives in Paducah, Ky., and blogs at saltandnectar.com. She and her husband, 32, both are paying off student loans from law school.

There's another reason for paring Christmas hoopla, she says: "We want to live more conscientiously and not just do something because we've always done it." She's dubbed their holiday strategy "Christmas without consuming."

Mark O'Brien, 47, a Chicago computer analyst, says he can afford Christmas; he just doesn't want anything to do with it.

O'Brien, who is single, has turned down invitations to share Christmas dinner with friends and plans to spend the day in front of his TV, watching basketball games and eating pizza.

"I"m not a Scrooge," he says, "but I'm not religious, and I don't like all the forced frivolity of the season.

"My friends and family know I care about them, and I don't need to give them presents or sing carols with them to prove it."

Getting more relaxed

Some people who have downscaled their Christmas celebrations say the change made them saner, more relaxed and less indebted.

Jim Arnold, 56, a writer in Los Angeles, spent Christmas in Brazil a few years ago. The low-key approach there, he says, made him realize he could "disconnect" from consumerism and redefine his own holiday.

He stopped buying gifts and sending cards but says he still looks forward to "the parties and the cookies."

"People drive themselves crazy over Christmas," he says, "and I don't think very many of them are really happy about it."

Ingram says some gentle etiquette is required when a person decides to stop gift-giving in a family that expects it. "Opting out of the commercialism of the holidays works only if everybody buys into it, and that's where it gets tricky," she says.

In some cases, it might mean forgoing a family gathering where gifts are exchanged to avoid an "incredibly awkward" moment, she says.

When Rob Weir and his wife, Emily, suggested an end to family gift exchanges a few years ago, relatives "were shocked by it," he says. "They thought we were parsimonious or that we didn't care anymore. We realized we needed a strategy."

They dropped hints long before Christmas that they didn't really need gifts for themselves, says Weir, a history professor in his 50s who lives in Northampton, Mass. Gradually, they discovered that many of their family members felt the same way about buying presents for everyone.

"It took two or three years before the relatives got on board," he says. "You have to kind of phase it in."

Now the Weirs make charitable donations in the names of their relatives. Instead of family gatherings, they dine out with friends. Occasionally, they buy a bottle of wine for friends, and they treat themselves to a concert or show and buy a new ornament for their tree instead of exchanging gifts with each other.

"I sort of let the season happen," Weir says. "There's more freedom in our schedule if we don't have to spend time at the mall." When he mentions his new holiday traditions to friends now, he says, they often say, "Oh, what a good idea."

Change is 'liberating'

Irene Levine wrote a column for The Huffington Post in 2008 explaining why she was skipping Christmas. She wanted to save gas by not going to malls, save trees by sending fewer cards and save money, she wrote.

Besides, she noted, she's a secular Jew who wondered "how I got sucked into this tradition anyway."

"I was losing the joy of both shopping and gifting," she says now.

The change "was liberating" and resulted in much less stressful holidays, says Levine, a New York University psychiatry professor and writer. Before the column, she bought about 60 holiday gifts.

She's easing back into giving now, but she'll still dispense only about 20 this year, mostly gift cards.

"It's less anxiety-producing because it feels like there's more room for pleasure and less need for perfunctory gifts," she says.

Some people who wish they could have a full-blown Christmas celebration cannot, says Joan Rhodes of Neighbors Inc., a community service organization in the St. Paul suburbs.

A year ago, she says, Neighbors Inc. was helping about 230 families with food aid; in November, the number was 344. More than 700 people have signed up for adopt-a-family Christmas programs so they can receive clothing and toys.

For most clients, Rhodes says, "There simply isn't enough money for food, much less to buy presents."

Each year, she says, the organization receives notes after Christmas that say, "If it wasn't for Neighbors, we would not have had a Christmas."